Mothering on the Edge

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Interview by the Muum

I have to hand it to the Muum. I didn't think about it, but she's got the hardest job interviewing me because she knows me SO well. 30 years, people. That's how long we've been friends. Not easy to hit with someone who's 29. And now, on with the show.

Why do you hate clothes shopping so much?
First let me explain my relationship to clothes. I'm not that into clothes. They are functional objects for me. I like having my body covered and...um, having pockets. So I wear clothes. It is very, very rare for me to see clothes and think...wow. I would like to wear that. Very rare. I like my clothes to be comfortable, simple and not cost too much.

Now, let me explain how I feel about shopping. I like shopping for things when it's easy. I like being able to pick out what I want from a reasonable selection and pay a reasonable amount and bring it home and be happy with it. Grocery shopping is a very satisfying experience for me.
But clothes shopping is NOT!

It was really bad when I was a teenager because I wanted to at least somewhat 'fit in', which I defined as not being stared at, I had a body that seemed to be constantly changing shape and size, and the fashions were too...fashionable. I didn't want to look like a fashion plate. Just a kid. At school. School uniforms would have been a blessing, really. But, I did discover the concept of a uniform. My high school uniform was a tight T-shirt or body suit under a flannel plaid with jeans that were too big, but not so big they fell down. It was the 90s, people. It worked.

Now, clothes shopping is just annoying because I often go to the store with something in my mind that I want to buy and then...can't find it. And it's usually something that seems very straightforward to me. How can you -not- as a clothing store, carry a simple black skirt? a cotton floral dress? khaki pants with no pleats? REALLY!? HOW?! I also have trouble envisioning how things will look on me, so I see them on the rack and think...meh. It helps to have someone with me who has that skill of 'knowing what will look good'. And is patient with my critical nature. I hate most things I see. Usually only one or two items out of a trendy store would I even consider wearing. A dozen in a mainstream store. I'm picky. You can ask the Sassy Lime. I hate everything.

How did you become interested in childbirth education?
Mostly because my first childbirth class, when I was pregnant with H, was a big suckfest. We spent lots of time on 'not smoking while pregnant' (duh!!) and 'what to do if your boyfriend is hitting you' (?!) and not very much on these patterned breathing techniques that...frankly, didn't work. So I pretty much figured I could do better.

When we lived in family student housing, I had a friend who was almost done with her training to be a midwife, so she had a LOT of information about pregnancy, labor and birth. But she was painfully shy. I can't remember if she had to teach a class for her midwifery degree requirements, or if we just decided it would be a good idea, but I was happy to stand in front of people and talk, and she mostly designed the curriculum and answered questions.

Well, I had a chance to go to a Birthing From Within training halfway through our class series and it really blew me away--things like, If you teach parents that there is only one right way to give birth, you're setting them up to fail. If you want to teach pain-coping practices, you have to practice them in class and at home! Birth isn't just about the physical--parents are having social, emotional, and spiritual journeys as well. It was huge. So I decided to keep doing it, even after my friend was done.

I've been teaching (we call it mentoring, to emphasize that parents know how to give birth, and we are just 'helping') for six years now. I love it.

Give us a 'day in the life' on the edge.
Well, I get up when the CD player alarm starts playing the first guitar solo on the U2 cd we have in there. Do that daily hygiene stuff. Get dressed. By the time I get downstairs, most of the kids are eating breakfast and in various states of dress. Coerce little E to go potty or at least put on a dry pull-up. Check my email. All that morning stuff. H and the Blond Hunk leave for school and work.
Twice a week the little ones and I do Joy School--at our house or one of their little friends. That's lots of fun. I clean or read or write and play around the house until around noon or so. Sometimes we go grocery shopping or Aunt Sassy Lime comes over to play. Lots of fun.
Afternoons are slower. We play outside or do laundry. Sometimes bake. H comes home from school and we do the snack/homework/hearts thing. Hearts are chores. I'll explain this some other time.

I don't have much of a detailed routine. Just doesn't work for me.

Besides humility, what is your best quality?
You mean, besides brevity? Ahahahah. I slay me.
No, I think my best quality is being able to understand people and their relationships. I don't know why, but I enjoy doing that.

Did you ever decide to take up belly dancing? Does your character on (?) Everquest like to belly dance??
I haven't yet. But that doesn't mean I won't.
And no, my main character (the one I play the most) on Everquest 2 is named Nanya. She has many talents, but bellydancing is not one of them.

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